[I Was Naked]

Staples- That Wasn't Easy

2007-09-28

One of the things as consumers we can all agree on regardless of political or religious affiliations, is the lack of customer service in the retail world. This struck me more so today than any other as I found myself walking into Staples.

I was somewhat in a hurry, as I was troubleshooting a tech problem for work, and determined quickly, that the cat5 cable had gone bad. Knowing I now had to take another half hour out of my day to leave the jobsite and buy a cable, I had come up with a plan B as well, to fix the problem.

Once I arrived in the store, I quickly scanned the aisles, as every Staples I've ever been in is not consistent with the layout. I always take note of who is in the store, and today I only saw one other customer, a large tall gentleman, talking to a store clerk in the phone aisle. I bipped back and forth between the network cables, and the USB cable aisles, because god forbid you keep all your cables and accessories in one spot.

I finished my shopping and I was behind the other gentleman as he was checking out. It was taking a little longer than usual for the clerk to complete the transaction, and I was a little surprised at her snide comment to the man, asking him if he "remembered to hit the enter button" with a sneer on her face. Non plussed, the consumer waited and as she bagged his purchase, he took her to task for her rudeness.

Not to play the race card, but this was a large black man, not the kind you call Tiny to his face but he had a quiet demeanor about him. Kristy our snot ass twenty something clerk, got very defensive and retaliated vocalizing that she wasn't rude. How was she rude? She made the mistake of turning her question to me.

The gentleman was still standing there when I explained to Kristy, that she was exceedingly rude to him, and that the customer is always right. She started to get in a huff once again asking how was she rude. I told her everything about her was rude, from her tone of voice, what she said and her facial expression. I suggested she go get her manager. She stormed off stating for "7.85 an hour the customer isn't right", so I suggested she find a job elsewhere.

Now the gentleman is still standing there, watching me address her very calmly and a smile crossed his face. He explained he had been in line earlier, and realized he had forgotten something. Kristy snidely said to him, "What, your wallet?" Now it made sense her comment about him "remembering to hit enter". He thanked me for standing up for him and it made his day.

I smiled and said, no problem and wished him well, all the while watching Kristy complaining to her superior across the store.

Heather, the other clerk, jumped in to complete my transaction and stated that she only heard Kristy ask him about his wallet. I explained to Heather, that regardless what had transpired, Kristy was rude and she needs to be in another line of work. My thought with her customer service skills is maybe she should direct her talents in a morgue, yet I bit my tongue.

I waited for Kristy's manager to arrive, however that was never forthcoming. My guess is it wasn't the first time little Miss 7.85 an hour got into an altercation. They'll be addressing it soon as I went to Staples web site and contacted the corporate headquarters with the store number, and the time and date of visit. I've come to learn, when you put a complaint in writing someone takes notice. I just have to think as well that since I'm a black card carrying Staples reward member..whoohoo! I must have some clout. :-)

I didn't go into as much detail with them as I did here, but gave them the Readers Digest version, and if someone contacts me fine, if not, at least the manager of the store will be made aware that you can't ignore the customers. Heather apologized for Kristy, which was fine, but I explained it wasn't an apology thing, it just never should have happened, and I wasn't the one who deserved the apology.

I may never know what happens to Kristy, but I do hope she learns a lesson. You never know who you are dealing with, and how your actions can come back and bite you in the ass. She was lucky, she gets the opportunity to learn this lesson when she's young, if she can get past her own attitude.

That is never easy.

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Learning to Let Go

2007-09-24

I'm good at a lot of things. I'll even be the first person to tell you. My weakness is letting go of people that I know are bad for me and drain me emotionally and physically.

I was back at the doctor's again today, because I really think they should name the new wing after me with all the co-pays I've produced recently. I must have looked worse than I felt, as the nurse took one look at me, pronounced me exhausted and the doctor would be more than happy to write a note to get me out of work for the next couple of days so I could sleep.

I smiled and thanked her, and explained how I'm not that strong of a sleeper to begin with, I manage roughly 4-5 hours a night. However, I did place a call tonight to my ex friend, asking him not to call me in the middle of the night, so I could at least attempt the 4 hours. My hope is after speaking to him, that he'll just be passing out after eating his pizza.

When he asked me what day it was I simply replied Drunkday. Tomorrow is Drunkday, followed by Drunkday, then Thursday which is only half a Drunkday as he drives an hour and a half to watch his son play football. Then its Drunkday Drunkday Drunkday. After which, an entire new drinking week starts.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I'm simply never that thirsty. I picked him up from a parking lot late Friday night, to avoid him from driving drunk and killing someone. As my guy lectured me today, I can't stop what is going to happen. Maybe not, but that night I allowed someone to get home alive that wouldn't had he tried. 

I was still holding onto the friendship though, from a distance. He called me early the next day to see what I was doing and I reminded him I was going to a bridal shower. I reminded him he was supposed to be at home watching a football game with his new online romance, which I felt at least he wouldn't be a menace to society.

Another male friend has moved in here with me for the time being. I'm helping him get back on his feet and to be only an hour away from his 4 year old son. In exchange I'm using his home flipping skills to finish this place so I can get it market ready and move to California next spring.

I said goodbye and left him in his Everquest world, smile on his face and I only meant to stay a few hours at the shower, but its a good group of people, my adopted catholic family as it were and I was there about 5 hours.

Imagine my surprise when I couldn't reach either one of the guys on their cellphones. I didn't think too much more of it, and noticed the door was unlocked to my house, his van was in place and a candle was still burning. Guessing he was puttering somewhere, I was in my room when I heard his voice ala Ricky Ricardo..Pammy I'm HOoome.

I went downstairs an oddly enough it was Sir Drinksalot in the office. He waited until I left, showed up univited and dragged my friend out with him to 5 or 6 bars in the area. They were both trashed. I was not amused. I grabbed the keys out of Sir Drinksalot truck and glared at my roommate for smoking. He went and used Chantix and succeeded in quitting until the alcohol sunk in.

I put up with the crap for all of 15 minutes before I handed over his keys and watched him drive away.

I sat on the rocking chair on my porch and T. took the other one. He looked over at me, and solemn as could be, asked me to please not discuss him with Sir Drinksalot anymore. He didn't want to be involved in whatever game we were playing, and obviously I said things that were repeated back to him.

I sat there stunned. Innoucous conversation got twisted and turned the second time in an attempt to ruin a friendship. I thanked T for being the person he is, and smart enough to see through the manipulation. He continued telling me even more things that he knew and I could only apologize and blame myself for thinking I could trust Sir Drinksalot.

At that point it was really easy to let go. The next day I ignored 8 phone calls from him in 12 hours. He caught me at 1:00 a.m. as weary with the day, I automatically answered my phone in the middle of the night. I used my time well to tell him what I thought of him, but not so much that he knew everything that I knew. I just explained I couldn't trust him and we were done. At that point he decided to vilify me which he has a talent of doing, appearing to be the victim. He hung up on me, so I waited til it was 2 a.m or so to wake him up. Yep, I can act like a child as well when pushed. 

His logic for doing what he did to one guy, had no bearing on his next comment that I am going to fail in moving to California, and I don't have what it takes to keep a relationship. I let him continue down his course and he admitted that once I move there he won't have any friends. NEWSFLASH you Jackass!! You don't have one now. T warned me that he was jealous of me, and I couldn't get through to dunkenbummble that I have the capacity to care about more than one person at a time. I got through my chores yesterday, and as T went happily back to questing and crafting, I went to my room to take a much deserved cat nap.

Today was easier knowing the calls wouldn't come in but sporadically. I knew he would go off the deepend and start the drinking cycle all over again. Beer is his only friend, and he has to buy that. He can buy whatever he wants, gamble like a son of a bitch and win ( of course- don't they always?) and believe he is financially set. Lord knows I did my part giving him everything he needed to be a real live boy. Even carved him out a new home. But I've cut the strings, he accused me of pulling them, when personally? I just want to kick the little wooden boy right into the fire.

But I know me. I'd just reach into the fire and end up getting burned. This time, I'm staying in the safety zone.  

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Foul Weather Friends

2007-09-18

Need not apply.

Tonight I did something that I never do. I gave an ultimatum. To my functioning alcoholic friend.

It didn't last long, as he decided our friendship wasn't worth the effort. I asked him to get professional help. As all good BPD's will do, it got turned around and once again I was raked over the coals. I was called every name in the book, to the point that I asked if I was such a horrible person, why did he want me in his life?

For the last 10 years I've been his only source of stability and friend. But because I'm a woman and he's a man, whose divorced but still in love with his ex wife ( that he left btw for the younger thinner blond arm candy) and he has a son, that leaves me to get kicked to the curb in all new relationships.

It used to hurt. Alot. But over the last 6 years and countless women, I'm numb to the whole thing. He's a relationship addict as well as a BPD and this new one is long distance and just as detrimental to his psyche. I tried to explain that because they both have addictive personalities, the mere fact that they feed off of each other, does not "love" make. Especially in such a short time frame. In a "normal" evolution of a relationship, the first three months alone is mostly infatuation. Six months you're just starting to know the person, and maybe after a year you can begin to make the judgment if you can live with each others foibles.

In the last 6 years he's lived with me twice. Call me an enabler, I know what I've done, hindsight being 20/20.  I also know the rough dollar amount I've spent to furnish a home for him, only to have him break his lease and move in with a woman he met at a bar three weeks later. That lasted all of 2.5 years where once again for the last time, I got the boot. There's no room in his life for me, when another woman deems that I must go. 

Yet at the end of the day, when it invariably ends, he comes running to me. I'm his conscience, guide, friend, and I refuse to be his mother.  So when this last one ended at the beginning weeks of August, I did what I always do..council, advise and used strings to get him a place to live. I have "people", friends actually that will do anything for me if I ask. I normally don't, for him I did. All I asked was for him not to shit where he ate, because my recommendation got him in.

Of course like any five year old, or maybe an O.D.D. complex, he immediately did the opposite and started screwing the neighbors. Whatever. When it got ugly one night and police calls threatened I put my foot down. All the while, he's working the out of state woman online, and dashing off to spend the weekend with her. Never mind he's in arrears with child support, immediate gratification is more important.

I also know better than to argue with a drunk, and nothing that comes out of his mouth anymore can I believe. He raked me over the coals Sunday to an old friend who is moving in here ( ok its a mutual thing, he gets back on his feet and an hour closer to his kid, I get him to help me fix up the outside of the house) for no other reason because I wouldn't fall into his depravity. I was actually yelling how much I hated him, and left his house. It's taken me two days to calm down, and I asked him not to drink today so we could discuss a solution.

Not only did it fall on deaf and drunk ears, my ultimatum was tossed back at me, with a bartering chip, that I have to meet the online woman when she comes to town in October. No deal I told him. He pressed me for a reason, (again) I told him because it wasn't real. I think if he had a stick he would have beat me with it. It's impossible for me to erase myself from his presence when everything he owns down to the food in his refrigerator was purchased by me. I simply was removing my profile from his laptop when he asked why I was still there. No problem I said, have a nice life, and I quietly walked out the door and to my car.

No tears this time. I thought I had placed myself in a win win situation, either he gets the help he needs, or I'm out of his life. I don't need the stress, I've never had to work this hard on a friendship that is so one sided. It all made sense when he said tonight, that he's been replaced. Oh no. You don't get to go there. Not when his footprint is embedded in my ass cheeks from having been kicked to the curb multiple times. I don't know how to fix this anymore, its so toxic that I'm not even sure it should be fixed even if I had the inclination. Its draining.

I'm not saying I won't miss the person that he was or the friendship before it was so irreparably broken. But life is short and I don't have time to continually get stabbed in the heart and then get asked why I am bleeding, waiting for another raincloud to come and wash it away.

This one's for you Jim.

Witqueen out. 

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Pass The Skinless Chicken Please

2007-09-15

I'm mad at something that is out of my immediate control, and I know I wouldn't be who I am if old Glynn and Sweetie Allen never conceived me. But as I age it now appears I have gotten the worst from both parents.

Ok, so they both wore glasses but I believe genetically I follow the matriarch side with having to get glasses now when I am 44 as opposed to my whole life. This cholesterol thing is bothering me more than I care to admit.

I broke down and cried yesterday morning on the phone with Jim. Of course he can't handle anything, and as I told him, I could be lying dead in my grave and he may concede I might have a cold and to stop overreacting.

But this scares me. Five years ago my LDL was 140, HDL was 45. Now I'm at 215 and 35? How the hell does the body do a complete reversal? Ok I understand that as women age the cholesterol creeps up as they near menopause. But I'm not ready for that either. I think somewhere inside of me I always thought I'd have my daughter. But the poor thing probably wouldn't be born so much as molded like Gumby. To borrow G's term, now I'm the one that feels as if I have brown gravy in my veins. Did I ever mention I have my own death mode I succumb to when I initially cope with bad news? Oy.

Lord knows I'm not the poster child for healthy eating or exercise. Val is and even her LDL is 180. High, but still below 200 but the number is supposed to be around 130. So now I'm waiting for Pravachol and take it for six weeks and see where that number is in 6 weeks, so my doctor can lower my dosage. How 'bout none? She warned me if there were any side effects to just stop taking it, I cued her into the fact I should have been born a lab rat. Side effects? Please, if there is one I get them. She replied that I'm a muddler and I'll ignore everything and keep taking the medicine so I don't let her down. Hence, there are a ton of other drugs out there to treat it. Yeah, yeah whatever.

Personally my belief is that environmentally I did this to myself as well. Moving out here in the valley of Limerick where the closest food source is Wawa hasn't helped. I know I never used to eat hoagies and sandwiches like I have since I've been here. I am glad that some of the things I enjoy I won't have to give up. I've always used non fat sourcream and lowfat yogurt. I love fresh fruit, so the move to the west coast will help that. Salads are ok and I love a balsamic vinaigrette. But cheese? God I love a good cheese, any kind actually.

I won't be able to eat the seafood I ordered. That is going to suck. I love shrimp, scallops, crab..all the good stuff. Chinese food? Don't know, I'll have to research that. Mexican food, which I adore, I'm sure is bad for you, but my plan is to find and moderate the taste of the things I love so I don't feel as if I'm missing anything.Which is funny when I think about it, since I don't normally eat but when I do, I want it to be something yummy, and convenient.

But for now, this moment, I'm not eating a thing if that is even possible. I feel as if I'll put the wrong item in my mouth and I'll end up exploding into a waxy laden ball of plaque and sludge. When the investigators arrive at the scene, a black leathered foot will toe through the mess, attempting to figure out just what it was that created a puddle of muck and goo. Photos will be snapped, evidence bagged and labeled. A haphazard outline will surround the pool of goo. In time my picture will appear on milk cartons, right above the nutrition table, asking the question, Have You Seen Me? Yet there I am all over the floor as a dessert topping and a floor polisher.

I better start the process now and save time for identification purposes.

In case of Emergency or Odd Puddle, This is who I was

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