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She Asked For You

2007-07-21

I finally have a quiet moment to reflect on today's festivities. I think it was the biggest turnout at the Webb's in 27 years. What I wasn't expecting were the people asking for me.

First off, there were lots of people there, all familiar faces but honestly, I know I'm supposed to know all of them as they know all of me. I truly never recognize the impact I must make on people, because I'm always stunned when someone is wondering where I am.

The party started at 12:00 I took my time getting there, as I still had to shop for something to bring. Superfresh was the answer, so I was a little later leaving than I first planned. I wasn't but 5 minutes away from the neighborhood when my cell phone rang and Paul was wondering where I was, as he was holding a parking spot for me. On the lawn. Other people were offering me their driveways, but Paul was removing reflectors, so there I went as directed.

The house looked great, Carol would have been proud. Food was on every surface imaginable and I laughed to see the one punch bowl that is always marked "Non alcoholic" which is the one and only time it is full. Once it is empty, it's never been refilled, not even with the same punch. A tall blond was pointing the way to the guest book, and said, " Pam there you are, people have been asking for you."

"Really?" I thought to myself, ok, whatever.

Ginny was waiting for me and I gave her a hug and a kiss and signed the guest book. They had done a wonderful job of matting pictures in collage format of Carol over the years, and even managed to have her birth announcement from 1948 on the board. Carol was the pictorial custodian in the family, so I am hoping that it is passed down to Ginny.

I found Webbie and hugged him, he seemed ok,but tired. He told me later he was hoarse from talking to everyone, he took a short little rest about dinnertime. I found Ted and Art and someone told me that Carol's ashes were in a chair earlier and one guest was simply having a chat with her as if she were there. Alrighty.

I moved and bobbed my way through the place, stopping to take pictures and missing her presence. My heart skipped a beat when I thought I saw Nick, but it was another guy who looked similar to him. Nick would arrive an hour later, we caught each others eye, and I did hunt him down later to have that awkward moment. 20 years later, and still a topic of controversy. I don't know why it bugs me so, that he thinks I did something to him, when we were both manipulated by people jealous of our attraction to each other. I've let it go, but when I realize that the stilted conversation shouldn't even have to take place, or the Hey Pam, did you see your old boyfriend was here, even said jokingly, elicited my response..yes..he still hates me. I think Joe was a little taken aback, but hey, I never had my day in kangaroo court.

I spent more time there than I planned, but a call from David, confirmed he needed some time to himself. I decided to do one last stroll around, and was quite proud of myself for refusing to take one picture of Bam. He is a jackass for all intense purposes. I kind of got irritated by the party goers who wanted pics with him, as he usually declines. But at this house, where it all started, he conceded to have pictures taken. I just can't stand his attitude and every time I've seen him over the years, I just want to turn him over my knee and give him the spanking he should have had as a child. Little F*cker.

I found Webbie and gave him a hug goodbye, and told him he did Carol proud. We talked for a bit about her, the pictures he has, the memories, then he stopped me cold. "She asked for you" he said. "Where's Pam" she wanted to know as she was dying. For a moment I was stunned, and I told him that I had promised to come back and the day that I tried, I was told she had a bad night. I told him I had spoken to Ginny, and I didn't even mention that I called an hour and five minutes before she died. I was heading over that Friday after work, but Ginny didn't answer her cell. I gave him a hug and a kiss, and walked away lost in thought.

My eye was caught by another man, who I smiled and said hi too and turned but he grabbed my arm. "Hey Pam, its me, Bob." He had this "remember me" look in his face. Oh I remember. I smiled, he still looked good, same smile same light in his eyes. Hmm, did I really cull all of these past lovers from this lot of friends? We spoke for a while, until his wife wanted to know who he was speaking with and he introduced me. We didn't mention how we knew each other, just through rugby. He didn't realize I graduated with his brother. He's doing well, back in West Chester, I knew he had disappeared for a while. 20 years ago, we had a thing and I told him I wouldn't call him after. I never did. I think he was expecting me too, but he didn't know me too well. I do remember a good toss in the hay after calling some sexlines for fun. Honestly, who'd have thought that 20 years later he would remember me at a party? I made small talk, and got out of there and said more goodbyes.

It was only driving home that I let the initial guilt hit me, that I wasn't there for someone when they needed me. Would I have been let in? Jealousy is a sick disease as Michael always says. It keeps going through my mind, that I let her down, and who wanted to make sure I wasn't there. I didn't like what my mind was concluding.

"She asked for you Pam." Five words that keep reeling in my mind. I should have gone back, even if I just sat on the back deck. Would that have given her comfort? When I read Ginny's blogs again, she was trying to figure our what her mother was holding on for. They determined it was her wedding ring on her finger, but in my heart I know she wanted me there as well and she had to give up.

You truly can never know what impact your friendship means to a person, and my guilt will live in a place in my heart. They used the Ralph Waldo Emerson writings on the back of her memorial cards. So fitting.

In memory of Carol O Webb. b. May 4, 1948 d. July 13, 2007

"Success"

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends: to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others: to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

That you did Carol, that you did.

 

MMMMKay?

2007-07-18

I wish I didn't care anymore. I think I've got a case of the Mondays' on a Wednesday.  But anymore I look at the internet as one big fat corporation run by a bunch of Bob's. 

I thought I was going to be in for a huge battle with Associated Content to remove my published posts. Afterall they claim they won't delete anything once it is published. It didn't take much for me to get them to delete my account. I refunded them their money, and called the administrator out on their deceptive business practices. They wished me well, terminated my account, and I realized how my one little non conforming account wouldn't matter, as they had the whole online world to prey on. I'll rewind a bit to bring you up to speed.

I found it odd that they would select one of my articles to publish and not the other. Both were humorous, and in the same vein. So I did little more in depth searching. They posted my Red Umbrose and Filthy Whores under the categories Christmas and Soccer, but changed the name of the article. But Two Buckets for Trout was declined because they don't accept humor pieces, prose, poetry...kind of odd don't you think for a writing site?

So I read some other content that was accepted. I was surprised to find that a housewife in Bumbledork IA was considered an 'expert' for watching a soap opera, and posting an update and pulling information from TV Guide and Soap Opera Digest. Hmm. I took it one step further and looked at the new content they were calling for, that is what they wanted all members to write about. All name brand products. So the idea is to write content about these approved products, submit your work, they review, post it and pay you anywhere from 3 -20.00. Than you notify all your friends and family about your expert opinion and how you're a real live pro and you send your loved ones to read your posts. Everyone is happy right? Wrong.

Truly the money isn't that great. 20,000 hits to my story would have generated a total of $30.00. 

Not quite so for these social networking sites. The following chart comes from emarket.com 

That's some pretty big dollars made off of you and I and in the case of AC - our writing.

Don't get me wrong, the average person couldn't afford the bandwidth necessary to host free sites so they rely on the advertising dollars. I don't have a problem with that. I do have a problem with so called sites using the members to generate income and masking the reason. No one is that altruistic, and playing on the members to get family and friends, to read their posts that generates huge dollars for the owners and pennies for the writer. At least give the people a bigger cut. The other problem with AC is they claim they can't track the hits to the website for at least two weeks so as my counter sat at zero, I know they were checking stats daily for their revenue. Puhlease.

The following is a little behind the scenes look at this world. It full of new acronyms such as SEO (search engine optimization) But we also have link baiting, SERPS, SPAM,SPIM, and SPIT and the standard symbolic black hat and white hat. 

This article from Searchmarketingstandard.com shows you the thinking behind this new way of garnering money from everyone online. You probably wouldn't think about it, but again I am old school and here's where I sound old, and back in my day, we walked to school, in the snow, barefoot, and it was uphill both ways. But I do miss the internet before advertising came along. Now they make whores out of all of us. Read along.

a gravatar SMO: Social Media Optimization

Posted by Kent Lewis on April 12, 2007

Social Media Optimization (SMO) has long been a hot topic at Anvil, and I was very interested to see what the panel had to say. Rand Fishkin with SEOmoz kicked off the session in his trademark animated and informative style. He provided a helpful overview and foundation for the following presenters.

Rand started by provide an overview of the benefits of SMO: visibility, branding, link love, community engagement and influencing traditional media. He also addressed the perception that SMO is often seen as spam, yet SEO itself is responsible for driving significant traffic to the social media Web sites. His tips included respecting the community, building and maintaining a consistent and robust profile (or brand) and engage in the community by commenting, contributing and sharing regularly. Rand’s favorite social media sites include: Magnolia, Ning, 43 Things, Newsvine, wikiHow, Frappr, Yahoo 360, StumbleUpon, Technorati, Flickr and Furl among others.

Neil Patel with Advantage Consulting Services (ACS) took a much more candid approach. I enjoy when novice speakers with tons of experience share their secret sauce with the audience. Patel was enthusiastic and entertaining as well as informative. He focused his presentation primarily on Digg and StumbleUpon, providing examples of successes. SMO best practices, according to Patel, include: add tons of friends, participate regularly, optimize titles & descriptions, gain top user status and submit in a timely manner. Don’t include: blatant self-promotion, posting biased information, paying for votes or breaking community rules or spamming.

Andy Hagans with Text Link Ads rounded out the panel with a case study on Network Security Journal. He stressed the importance of a catchy title, in that it is the single most important factor of SMO. If it makes a good magazine cover title, it will work well for SMO. The content should be focused, pretty and “lifehacker good.” Hagans also recommended promoting aggressively in a short timeframe and linking out generously. His favorite sites include Digg, netscape, StumbleUpon, Reddit and Delicious. SMO junkies should also remember to reach out to relevant bloggers to generate link bait. Overall, the presenters were informative due to their specific and candid recommendations. Bravo!

 

Bravo?

Its just one big ugly narcissitic machine, that we keep feeding. I like to think that I purposefuly don't spend my money on advertisements I see here, I can assure you as I write this that NETFLIX isn't getting any business. 

At any rate, I got them to remove my posts. I just registered my witqueen.com and I am copying and backing up all my posts here. I'm just trying to find the best hosting site and I'm steering toward mochahost.com. Its just going to be a process, and I haven't been writing but since I read another blog on here this morning, that pointed the reader to Associated Content, I thought I would bring it up. Beside there is a whole gray area of retaining the rights to your posts, but they can do what they want with it, once its "paid" for. No thank you. I think I'll stick to profitting off of my thoughts thank you, if it ever comes to that.  In any event and if anyone is interested I'll post a link here to a memo from 2001 that talks about the revenue dollars to be made and how not to piss off the online community and how to advertise responsibly.  http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc3098.txt

Seems to me that no one got the memo that day, maybe they just forgot to put the cover on the TPS report.

A Final Post

2007-07-13

I think I'm headind over to Livejournal. When I get it up and running and my posts moved, I'll let you know for those of you that enjoyed my blogs. I received the following in an email today from a friend. Because it is well written and thought out by the author, I decided to post it here.

 

The paper stated today that some Muslim doctor is saying we are profiling him because he has been checked three times while getting on an airplane. The following is a letter from a pilot. This well spoken man, who is a pilot with American Airlines, says what is in his heart, beautifully.... Read, absorb and pass this on. 

 

              ’YOU WORRY ME!'

By American Airlines Pilot - Captain John Maniscalco

 

I've been trying t o say this since 9-11, but you worry me. I wish you didn't. I wish when I walked down the streets of this country that I love, that your color and culture still blended with the beautiful human landscape we enjoy in this country. But you don't blend in anymore.    I notice you, and it worries me.

 

I notice you because I can't help it anymore. People from your homelands, professing to be Muslims, have been attacking and killing my fellow citizens and our friends for more than 20 years now. I don't fully understand their grievances and hate, but I know that nothing can justify the inhumanity of their attacks.

 

On September 11, nineteen ARAB-MUSLIMS hijacked four jetliners in my country. They cut the throats of women in front of children and brutally stabbed to death others. They took control of those planes and crashed them into buildings killing thousands of proud fathers, loving sons, wise grandparents, elegant daughters, best friends, favorite coaches, fearless public servants, and children's mothers.

 

The Palestinians Celebrated, the Iraqis were overjoyed as was most of the Arab world. So, I notice you now. I don't want to be worried. I don't want to be consumed by the same rage and hate and prejudice that has destroyed the soul of these terrorists. But I need your help. As a rational American, trying to protect my country and family in an irrational and unsafe world, I must know how to tell the difference between you, and the Arab/Muslim terrorist.

 

How do I differentiate between the true Arab/Muslim-Americans and the Arab/Muslim terrorists in our communities who are attending our schools, enjoying our parks, and living in OUR communities under the protection of OUR constitution, while they plot the next attack that will slaughter these same good neighbors and children?

 

The events of September 11th changed the answer. It is not my responsibility to determine which of you embraces our great country, with ALL of its religions, with ALL of its different citizens, with all of its faults. It is time for every Arab/Muslim in this country to determine it for me.

 

I want to know, I demand to know, and I have a right to know, whether or not you love America. Do you pledge allegiance to its flag? Do you proudly display it in front of your house, or on your car? Do you pray in your many daily prayers that Allah will bless this nation, that He will protect and prosper it? Or do you pray that Allah will destroy it in one of your Jihads? Are you thankful for the freedom that only this nation affords? A freedom that was paid for by the blood of hundreds of thousands of patriots who gave their lives for this country? Are you willing to preserve this freedom by also paying the ultimate sacrifice? Do you love America ? If this is your commitment, then I need YOU to start letting ME know about it.

 

Your Muslim leaders in this nation should be flooding the media at this time with hard facts on your faith, and what hard actions you are taking as a community and as a religion to protect the United States of America. Please, no more benign overtures of regret for the death of the innocent because I worry about who you regard as innocent. No more benign overtures of condemnation for the unprovoked  attacks because I worry about what is unprovoked to you. I am not interested in any more sympathy. I am only interested in action. What will you do for America - our great country - at this time of crisis, at this time of war?

 

I want to see Arab-Muslims waving the AMERICAN flag in the streets. I want to hear you chanting 'Allah Bless America ' I want to see young Arab/Muslim men enlisting in the military. I want to see a commitment of money, time, and emotion to the victims of this butchering and to this nation as a whole.

 

The FBI has a list of over 400 people they want to talk to regarding the WTC attack. Many of these people live and socialize right now in Muslim communities. You know them. You know where they are. Hand them over to us, now! But I have seen little even approaching this sort of action. Instead I have seen an already closed and secretive community close even tighter. You have disappeared from the streets. You have posted armed security guards at your facilities. You have threatened lawsuits. You have screamed for protection from reprisals.

 

The very few Arab/Muslim representatives that HAVE appeared in the media were defensive and equivocating. They seemed more concerned with making sure that the United States proves who was responsible before taking action. They seemed more concerned with protecting their fellow Muslims from violence directed towards them in the United States and abroad than they did with supporting our country and denouncing 'leaders' like Khadafi, Hussein, Farrakhan, and Arafat.

 

If the true teachings of Islam proclaim tolerance and peace and love for all people, then I want chapter and verse from the Koran and statements from popular Muslim leaders to back it up. What good is it if the teachings in the Koran are good, and pure, and true, when your 'leaders' are teaching fanatical interpretations, terrorism, and intolerance? It matters little how good Islam SHOULD BE if huge numbers of the world's Muslims interpret the teachings of Mohammed incorrectly and adhere to a degenerative form of the religion. A form that has been demonstrated to us over and over again. A form whose structure is built upon a foundation of violence, death, and suicide. A form whose members are recruited from the prisons around the world. A form whose members (some as young as five years old) are seen day after day, week in and week out, year after year, marching in the streets around the world, burning effigies of our presidents, burning the American flag, shooting weapons into the air. A form whose members convert from a peaceful religion, only to take up arms against the great United States of America, the country of their birth. A form whose rules are so twisted, that their traveling members refuse to show their faces at airport security checkpoints, in the name of Islam.

 

We will NEVER allow the attacks of September 11, or any others for that matter, to take away that which is so precious to us: Our rights under the greatest constitution in the world.

 

I want to know where every Arab Muslim in this country stands and I think it is my right and the right of every true citizen of this country to demand it. A right paid for by the blood of thousands of my brothers and sisters who died protecting the very constitution that is protecting you and your family. I am pleading with you to let me know. I want you here as my brother, my neighbor, my friend, as a fellow American.

 

But there can be no gray areas or ambivalence regarding your allegiance and it is up to YOU, to show ME, where YOU stand. Until then   'YOU WORRY ME!'

 

 

Moving...again

2007-07-13

The only thing constant is change. Hopefully most changes should be for the better. I'm gonna pack up my posts and go, I've had enough with the spammers, and problems on Shoutpost. I wish you all the best!

AWOL

2007-07-10

So much for writing everyday.

It seems my friends are having  a spate of bad luck and I have offered to help them get back on their feet. I'm spending lots of time, combing the want ads for three friends, writing appeals for unemployment, and proofreading resumes. Add battling a mean case of Japanese beatles in my garden, and since I am watching my friends house while they are away, I've had to take the fight there as well. Work is exhausting..more than usual, ebay is keeping me on my toes, so I realized I've let my writing for fun slide.

On a brighter note I submitted a couple of my pieces to Associated Content for paid compensation. They chose Red Umbrose and Filthy Whores, yet they changed the name and pretty much gave away the whole humorous aspect. So I wrote to the editorial jackass and asked them to at least change the name to Red Umbrose and Sophie's Shorts so as not to take away the laugh factor. They declined Two Buckets for Trout, because they don't accept humorous pieces. Uh ok, so what was the other one? They placed it as a Christmas Story. Whatever..so now I need about 20,000 people to read it online to earn  no lie..$30.00.

Well, I guess we all have to start somewhere.  I just have to wonder how much they earn off the advertising. I don't think I am going to post anything more through them. Comedy is a difficult venue to write to appeal to the masses as it is. Now I can't use that piece anywhere else, though I did submit it as non-exclusive. I'll keep you posted.

 

Hello My Name is ....

2007-07-06

Pam and I have a shopping problem..

HELLO PAM

Seriously,  I had no business at the mall today. But since we get out of work early on Fridays, I decided to finally go get a new phone. Didn't really need one, and I thought my bluetooth would work with another Motorola product..but those tricky bastards....well, I want the Jawbone anyway, I just couldn't justify spending another 119.00 for that...remember that in a few paragraphs.

So I was waited on by a very pregnant woman, so of course when you are sure it is a pregnancy and not a weight problem, its ok to ask ( but never touch) a woman to see when her due day is. She ..looked ready to pop. Turns out she isn't due til August 3rd, but she likes even numbers so she says August 2nd. At any rate I was like -whoohoo a Leo baby, and my birthday is the 28th of July. Her eyes opened wide and she proclaimed that she wants her daughter born on that day, as she likes the sound of it, and a much better birthstone...yep..I have my own share of rubies. I told her to just start pushing regardless on the 27th..the power of positive thinking.

So I was happy as I could be with my purchase. I bought a Krizor Z3 and for any LOST fans out there, its the phone Jack was using in the season finale, and the biggest clue in the beginning that we were watching a flash forward. I had the opportunity this week to play with my friends new Iphone, and yes it is cool, but...a ton of problems. Have I ever mentioned as an IT person, to never get the first generation of any technology? Well, its ok if its free, since I term it beta testing on the GP and tht would be ok if it had bugs. But not shelling out $600.00 and you can't get your contacts transferred from your old phone. Well, there is a way..buy the thumb drive for $15.00 and backup your contacts to that, connect to your computer and sync into Itunes, then simply sync your Itunes into you Iphone..what? They formatted the wrong OS type on the thumbdrive? Apple blames IBM, and everyone is pointing fingers elsewhere. All I can say is, my phone has the same capabilities..even more so. I can send a picture through a text message..the Iphone can't...I can change my battery...but I can't finger scroll my menu's, but I also have less to keep clean. I'll get one in about 2 years when I am finally released from my Tmobile account.

Anyway, I roamed the hallways of the near empty mall, and was accosted by a nice lady holding a tray of miniture cookies and cream shakes from Chik-fil-A. My mouth is still sore from last weeks wisdom tooth removal part deux, so I decided to get one. As I went to order one, the kind attendent who I chalked up to someone's mother, told me to grab a napkin and wipe my mouth as I had some whip cream on the corner....Yes Ma'am..but jeez I had just taken a sip, I hadn't even swallowed yet. I smiled and thanked her and wandered away.

I have a new theory to saving calories, I drank as much as I could before I decided to cut my mall visit short, and I would cut through Macy's. So I tossed the last quarter of my shake and told myself I probably just saved drinking at least...whew..50 whole calories, but every little bit counts. I hadn't been to the mall since Macy's took over and noticed at ton of sales....keep walking...slowing down...80% off...nope..you don't need it...just...need...to...make..the..elevator.

I did not count on being accosted by the nice Lancome makeover lady...shit. Slow day and it appeared every other shopper was managing to avoid her...sigh. "Do I want a free makeover?" Uhmmmmm yeah ok. Knowing nothing is free, but since I was just questioned hours before of what I do for myself, I truthfully answered my friend...Don't worry about me...Pam is all about Pampering...and I was led to a chair and she commenced removing my makeup. In my defense I was double teamed by Beth and I couldn't even pronounce the makeup artist name...and on deck was Helen hovering...ready to grab whatever was needed.

Now, I've always enjoyed the TLC show's esp What Not To Wear, and who doesn't enjoy a makeover? But I don't need to be taken to task by department store hourly for hires, when I've held my hairdressing license etc for 25 years. Yes, geek and beauty freak, but that's who I am. Once they cleared off my simple daily routine..eyeliner, mascara and lipstick, they proceeded to layer it on. "For a light feel" uh huh.

Beth prepped my skin, with a moisturizer, toner, eye lifter, face lifter, eye concealer and bronzer. Then I was led over to another station where they layered me with a tinted foundation, more concealer, blush, lip liner, lipstick and gloss, 3 eye shadows, 2 different eyeliners, and mascara, and after complimenting my eyebrows, drew more on. The entire time Beth was furiously scribbling every product on the personal look page and trying to impress me how the mascara was a world winning product. Ok, but its not like its bringing world peace. I will say it was the star treatment. They just shouldn't have handed me the mirror. It was ok, I wasn't wowed but I did like some colors so I picked out 6 products out of the 20 or so I was deluged with. Fortunately Lancome gives a great little gift bag with it, so when my total came to 142.04 I mentally counted the other items to get more bang for my buck.

So here I sit, all dressed up, no place to go, and when I talk on my new phone, the makeup covers the screen. Should have bought the bluetooth.

After my Lancome makeover...I think I'm too shiny.

Ham Brained Ideas

2007-07-03

Ever wonder what song was  Billboard's number one song on the day you were born? Me neither. But just in case you do want to find out, simply click on this link, select your month and day and you will see a list of all the songs for all years.

http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm

Mine so happens to be So Much In Love, by the Tymes.

Now if you click on that link, it will atttempt to open and download using ITUNES or send you to Amazon to purchase the cd.

Which is kind of a pain in the ass. Why must everything be a cross promotional issue and try to force us to spend our money? I know its only 99 cents, if I really wanted the song-which I don't, or I'd already own it. But why does every little piece of minutiea information have to draw a profit somewhere? 

I read with interest tonight a story about the richest man you've never heard of. They call him "The Man Who Owns The Internet" and in a shocking side story, it wasn't Al Gore. Newp, its Kevin Ham. What's his claim to internet fame? He profits off of typos. He purchases domain names that would be common URL to type without a search engine, and he buys up domain names that end in cm, a common typo for some people. However he's really pissing off other dotcommers, because any international domain names use the two letter extension, such as UK for United Kingdom. At first thought I sensed where this could be an issue, but Mr. Ham uses wildcards to redirect traffic and actually struck a deal with the Prime Minister of Cameroon that funnels money back to his country. He's now after Colombia (.co), Oman (.om), Niger (.ne), and Ethiopia (.et) . Well haha to you Mr. Ham my most frequent typo is .vom so have fun with that as well. But this is the simplistic genius behind his cyber billions.

Say you wanted some kind of paper. Instead of googling or yahooing it, you type directly into the search bar paper.com but instead type paper.cm

He redirects the traffic to his own site Agoga.com which in this instance is a nicely categorized page about paper products, but its all pay per click advertising and my guess since I don't want to give this guy a nickel, some lovely spyware as well.

But I decided to dig a little deeper as the article also stated he likes to buy domains near to ones that are copyrited. It doesn't count as cybersquatting as he isn't stepping on the toes of the legal owners trademark. Here's a list of what he does own, just to give you a glimmer of how he's cashing in. BTW I'm not including the links, as that would defeat the point of this blog.


 
  • 3dAnimation.com
  • AcousticGuitars.com
  • Actor.com
  • AdventureJobs.com
  • AffiliateMarketing.com
  • Alcohol.com
  • Alcoholics.com
  • ArticleFinder.com
  • AskQuestions.com
  • Attorney.com
  • AutoLocater.com
  • AutoTrading.com
  • Awning.com
  • BabyGifts.com
  • BabyShowerGames.com
  • Baptism.com
  • BarbadosRentals.com
  • BarCodeScanners.com
  • BargainHotels.com
  • Be.com
  • Beat.com
  • BestFlights.com
  • BibleCollege.com
  • BicyleVacations.com
  • BioChemistry.com
  • BoardingSchool.com
  • Bogota.com
  • BonAppetite.com
  • BonBon.com
  • BrainBusters.com



  • BridalBouquets.com
  • BridalDresses.com
  • BudgetVacations.com
  • BuyAutos.com
  • CameraPhone.com
  • CanadaNews.com
  • Car.net
  • CarDecals.com
  • CarDetailing.com
  • CardScanner.com
  • CareerPathways.com
  • CareerTest.com
  • CarFinancing.com
  • CarPaint.com
  • CarpetDealers.com
  • CarPhone.com
  • CarRent.com
  • CashPayDay.com
  • CellularPhones.com
  • CheapScooters.com
  • CheapTires.com
  • CheapTravel.com
  • ChildrenGames.com
  • ClassmateFinder.com
  • CollectableDolls.com
  • ColonialHomes.com
  • Commercials.com
  • Consolidate.com
  • CouponSaver.com
  • CreditRating.com



  • CreditReportOnline.com
  • CrossStich.com
  • CruiseFinder.com
  • Cycle.com
  • Cyprus.org
  • DesignerDresses.com
  • Diabetic.org
  • Dialysis.com
  • DiscountAuto.com
  • DiscountCruise.com
  • DiscountVacation.com
  • Diseases.com
  • DogBeds.com
  • DogKennel.com
  • DownloadRingtones.com
  • DownloadSongs.com
  • DreamAnalysis.com
  • DrugAddictions.com
  • DvdCovers.com
  • ElementarySchool.com
  • Elyrics.com
  • EmploySearch.com
  • Eparty.com
  • Etextbooks.com
  • Eticket.com
  • ExpensiveCars.com
  • ExtremeGames.com
  • FaxOnline.com
  • FicaScore.com
  • FileShare.com



  • FlightChecker.com
  • ForceField.com
  • Francais.com
  • FreeHost.com
  • FreeLegalAdvice.com
  • FreeMusicVideos.com
  • FreePhoto.com
  • FreeTones.com
  • FreeVideo.com
  • FunnySongs.com
  • FurnishedApartments.com
  • FurniturePatio.com
  • Garnets.com
  • GeoThermal.com
  • GoldMarket.com
  • GolfInFlorida.com
  • GolfSwings.com
  • GospelMusic.com
  • GroupHomes.com
  • Hairs.com
  • HawaiianWedding.com
  • HawaiiVacationHomes.com
  • HDTV.com
  • Headstones.com
  • HealthCareers.com
  • HermitCrab.com
  • HooverDam.com
  • HouseSeeker.com
  • IncomeFromHome.com
  • Infertility.com



  • InkRefills.com
  • InMotion.com
  • Innovations.com
  • Instrumentals.com
  • InternetStats.com
  • Investigator.com
  • InvitationCards.com
  • Kalahari.com
  • KidsVacations.com
  • LaHotels.com
  • Laptop.com
  • LastMinuteTravelDeals.com
  • LasVegasShowTickets.com
  • LCD.com
  • LCDprojector.com
  • LeatherHandbags.com
  • LivingRooms.com
  • LoansForBadCredit.com
  • Lupus.com
  • MauiVacationHomes.com
  • MBAdegree.com
  • MedicalBracelets.com
  • MedicalCodes.com
  • MedicalHealth.com
  • MedicalHelp.com
  • Medrx.com
  • MexicoChat.com
  • MobileHomeParks.com
  • ModularHome.com
  • MontegoBay.com



  • MortgageCalculators.com
  • Mother.com
  • MovieSearch.com
  • MusicShare.com
  • MyMeds.com
  • NaturalRemedies.com
  • NewCellPhones.com
  • Notebook.com
  • NowAndForever.com
  • NurseFinder.com
  • NY.org
  • NYC.org
  • OnlineBanking.com
  • OnlineCreditReports.com
  • OnlineCreditReport.com
  • OrganicWine.com
  • Orthotics.com
  • OverSeaJobs.com
  • PChardware.com
  • PeopleSearch.com
  • PersonalChoice.com
  • Pharmaceutical.com
  • PhysicianSearch.com
  • Planetarium.com
  • PlayGame.com
  • Preview.com
  • Proverbs.com
  • PublicSchools.com
  • PuppyTraining.com
  • QAtester.com



  • RaceCars.com
  • Rapture.com
  • Refurbished.com
  • Religion.com
  • Reptile.com
  • ResumeBuilders.com
  • RoutePlanner.com
  • SalesTraining.com
  • SchoolGrants.com
  • ScooterDepot.com
  • SlideShows.com
  • SecondWorldWar.com
  • ServiceDogs.com
  • SevenWonders.com
  • SevenWondersOfTheWorld.com
  • Sidekicks.com
  • Sitcom.com
  • Skateboard.net
  • Skins.com
  • Slapshot.com
  • SlumberParty.com
  • SoapOpera.com
  • SongText.com
  • SpainHoliday.com
  • Spanish.com
  • SpanishTeacher.com
  • SpanishTranslations.com
  • Spyware.net
  • StockAnalysis.com
  • StorageUnits.com



  • Streetrods.com
  • StudentCollegeLoan.com
  • TahoeAccomodations.com
  • TanningSalons.com
  • TestEquipment.com
  • TheHolyBible.com
  • TimeShare.org
  • TrailerHomes.com
  • TrainingDogs.com
  • TravelFares.com
  • TravelLastMinute.com
  • TravelPlanner.com
  • TravelShop.com
  • TubalLigation.com
  • TummyTucks.com
  • TypeOnline.com
  • UnclaimedFunds.com
  • UsedBikes.com
  • UsedSUV.com
  • USmail.com
  • USweather.com
  • UtahVacations.com
  • VacationGetaways.com
  • Vacuum.org
  • Venture.com
  • Vest.com
  • Vids.com
  • VirtualLibrary.com
  • WasteContainers.com
  • WebPageMaker.com
  • WebStats.com
  • WeddingGowns.com
  • WeddingInvitation.com
  • WeddingShoes.com
  • Wire.com
  • WishingWell.com
  • WorkUniforms.com

. . . and thousands more


I long for the not so long ago days when there was absolutely no advertising on the internet. The uber geeks sneered at the concept in its DOS format, before the GUI interface. Simpler times indeed, when we didn't rely on our computer for entertainment and we were excited when clock radio's came out to gently wake us up to music every day. (fade to music)

As we stroll along together
Holding hands, walking all alone
So in love are we two
That we don't know what to do
So in love (doo, so in love)
In a world of our own (doo, so in love)

As we stroll by the sea together
Under stars twinkling high above
So in love are we two
No one else but me and you
So in love (doo, so in love)
So much in love (doo, so in love)
So in love (doo, so in love)
So much in love (doo, so in love)

We stroll along together
I tell you I need you oh so much
I love, love you my darling
Can you tell it in my touch?

When we walk down the aisle together
We will vow to be together till we die
So much love have we two
Just can't wait to say "I do"
So in love (doo, so in love)
Are you and I (doo, you and I)
So in love (doo, so in love)
Are you and I (doo, you and I)
So in love (doo, so in love)

Are you and I (doo, you and I)

 

 

Quiz

2007-07-02

I really don't expect anyone here to take this test, since we are all strangers essentially. However, it might be fun to take a pass at it, if for anything just to kill 3 minutes. I'll give you all some insight...I definitely had a dysfunctional family so that may help when you pick an answer. That and I was the youngest of three. While I was thinking of questions for the test, it also reminded me of some more stories to blog about.

 

Testriffic Quiz Your Friends
Create your own Friend Quiz here


The Quintessential Pammy Quiz
Take The Test Now

 

I'll post the answers at a later date.

Have Fun!

Needing to be Needed

2007-07-01

I've found out one thing about myself, that in one aspect is annoying, but forces me to be introspective.

I cry at movies at the moment when the protagonist or whomever, realizes they are needed. Or the movie shows the closeness between family that reflects how much they are needed. Today, it was Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, the scene where Carmen's father stops the wedding to bring his daughter to his side, because he doesn't want to get married without her being a part of it. I've seen this movie before, who knows why it got to me today. Ok, I do know, but I've already worked it out in my mind.

The other movie that gets me is A League of Their Own. Generally its the scene where the sisters are apart on separate teams toward the end, and they reconcile after the younger one has her moment, and the older sister has to acknowledge it. They both played their best, the younger one just wanted it more. She didn't want it more, she needed to be acknowledged more.

It's human nature to want to be wanted. Procreating is one way of establishing that you are at least going to be needed for at least the next 18-22 years, and its only those parents that can't let go, and stay over involved in their children's lives that are afraid of feeling useless. But I think they've forgotten their own needs, having put their family first for so long, that they forgot to put themselves on the list too. I've seen it in my friends lives, and maybe I just pay more attention to it, I hate when my friends as parents are taken for granted and walked over by the kids and spouse.

We all have reasons for doing things for our own personal psyche. Sometimes we claim not to know why we do things, but at the heart of it, is because we need to be needed. I don't think that makes any one of us particularly needy, but it is why we hold on to bad relationships when we know we shouldn't. There really is too much of a good thing as well. I think we need to find the balance where we can give and take of ourselves, without it becoming damaging.

My girlfriend is in such the same predicament. She is holding onto a relationship with someone she tells herself she is in love with. But his actions are so selfish, and show such lack of respect for her as well as himself, I constantly question her as to why she is holding on. She claims she doesn't know. She goes to therapy, but she claims she honestly gets more help from me. I'm a little tougher, I give her assignments as it were. She avoids doing some of them, as she says she knows but doesn't have the strength to do what she needs to do. She keeps compromising her own principles and has given this guy a year of her life. I point out that she isn't afraid of being alone, as most of the time she is with this guy, and her 14 year old son makes better decisions then this guy does. I told her yesterday that I've supported her choice because that is what girlfriends do, and be the ever constant ear and shoulder. But to be a better friend, I told her that if I continue to watch her self destruct this way, I'm not being her friend.

Letting go is hard. We fear what else may come next that we may have to face on our own, or worse fear that no one else is going to want and need us.

Life's lessons are hard for a reason. When things come too easy, we can't appreciate the outcome. I try to live by the mantra when we lose, don't lose the lesson. I know I'm a strong independent woman, but I've also have done things for people in my not so recent past, that in the end was detrimental to me, but I've learned to moderate my giving,whether emotionally or financially.

I do believe you get back what you give, positively or negatively. So p.s. to any of you contemplating buying the book, "The Secret" thats the main lesson so save your Jacksons. That phenomenon that book is stirring reminds me of every get rich on line scheme I've ever researched. Send the money and you get a piece of paper that tells you to post "How You Can Earn Millions Online" for the low price of 49.95. Yup, there is a sucker born every minute. But I'm off track, but not really. I felt the need to share that information to help someone out there save their money, even if its someone I don't even know.

It goes back to needing to be needed. I like to analyze myself and my actions and what drives me. Do I feel better knowing my experiences in life can help my friends? Yes. Do I also know that people are going to do what they need to do? Yes. Because as easy as it would make life to have someone listen and learn from our lessons, I also know that its impossible without having their own experience to solidify the lesson.

The best part about learning from our mistakes, is what B.B.King said; "The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you."

Whether or not we learn what the exact lesson is, will always remain to be seen. But as my nephew said to me once, "If things don't turn out the way you thought they would in the end, than it isn't the end."

Such is the optimism of youth. Sometimes you do need to stop and let go if it hasn't worked out the way you planned. But that is his lesson to learn. Or a stalkers, hmmm.

I think one of the best quotes we all should learn and that sums it all up, is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

It applies to every aspect of our actions as human beings.

Well, enough introspection for me this morning, but I will be checking back in with me later. Its a beautiful day in PA and I'm turning HBO off and going outside to enjoy it. Just something I need to do.

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