[I Was Naked]
When I Wrote ThisLive from Hollywood
2007-01-29
The walking dead.I was first drawn to an article on TMZ as the once gamine Olsen twin MaryKate is in denial of her anorexia and claims "her hair is making her look skinny."
If that were true Crystal Gale would be invisible, and Rapunzel a fairy...oh never mind, not a good simile.
I can assure the reading public, that as a hairdresser of twenty plus years, and I have personally worn every hair shade and style out there, except the Dorothy Hamill, no coiffure is that flattering. Case in point Sasquatch. That is one hirsute dude yet to my estimation carries himself at about 240 lbs. But it looks good on him...sure, let me try that out, and I'm sent home from the office to shave. Hmmph.
I just don't understand who is telling these women to turn into Skeletors. It's not the gays, I've always found my voluptuous breasts have been a great decoy for them, no smart ass, not to hide behind or in, but when you have a large rack, those that aren't ready to crack the door, see me as a mask of their sexuality.
Is there some new personal trainer out there who has found a way to suck the life out of them in trade for their celebrity souls?
It has been my experience that guys like girls with curves. I'm not saying they all like my Rubenesque form, but I'm not complaining about my life, or holding myself up to be the standard. But these women used to be hot. Sela Ward, Terry Hatcher, Angelina Jolie and my god even Jenna Jameson is on this link starting to show bone, and not the good kind in her hand, mouth or any other orifice. It's a sad day when porn stars go pop. As in lollipop. Big Head, Big Hair, stickfigure body. I'm telling you to view the pics, and decide for yourself.
I'm not naive and I know some of them are sporting the heroin chic physique. Duh Nicole Ritchie is in the pics as well. But what gym is going to allow their members to continue to waste away, when they won't be able to use the equipment? I have this vision of Sela Ward walking into the gym, going over to the weight rack, picking up a couple of 5 pounders, turming to face the mirror, and beginning a slow lean to the side as she slowly falls, creeeaaaaaak..bumph.
I run across this with my friends children, but thank god they are wisening up to this image that is getting shoved down their throats from celebrities who won't swallow..uhm..ok Jenna, you're excused from that comment. I only hope that any man that insist on a woman looking like a bone bag, better have a full head of hair, no paunch and his manhood better be scraping the ground, and not when he is laying down.
Well my little rant is over. I'm going to go eat a cookie and watch my ass grow.
Click to view.
Lollipop Lollipop Celebrity Lollipop...
2 Comments | Link to This | Back to top
Anyone Have A Spare 975 Million?
2007-01-28
I want to buy my own country.Culled from today's strange but true headlines on another leading brands site, the tiny war port of Sealand in the North Sea is for sale. Not that Britain recognizes it anymore. Hell, they built it around WWII, abandoned it and then a retired general Paddy "Roy" Bates crowned himself Prince and there you go. Yes, I'm ignoring the obvious humor with his name..too easy. Wait..let me spell that with an English accent..humour.
Maybe I should have prefaced the desire to own my own country. Let's drift back in time to a simpler GUI when computer games actually ran in a DOS environment and Dell was still a decent computer company…1993.
I'm working for an auto leasing division of a major bank, and my boss of all people, shows me this game and has me load it on my system on 5 1/4" floppies no less. A little something called Sid Meier's Civilization. I was hooked. First of all, I didn't have to deposit any quarters into my CPU, and technically I was getting paid to play in my spare time.
I love computer games. I bought my first "computer" in 1974, before Atari was bouncing a ball back and forth between two white paddles. I had the Magnavox Odyssey. It was a console that connected to your television, and you inserted different cartridges depending on your task, or game. For those who know me personally, yes I believe it is still with the stuff in the blue van. Life took me plenty of places quickly, so it wasn't again until the late seventies, early eighties that I was able to touch a computer again.
Many a weekend night in the tri-state area, when the band of the week was on break at a local Ground Round, my girlfriends and I would play whatever video games they had. My favorites were Moon Patrol and Joust. Man, I loved to make that Ostrich fly and jab my opponent. Thankfully, now if you want you can still find the MAME emulators online and play again. But when I wasn't working, or playing as a Freshette, I was copying computer code from PC magazine on an old Tandy. The funny thing about that though, was it never worked. You could type code and compile all the live long day, and you still had to wait for the next months issue to come out for all the programming corrections. Yeah, except for ACCESS, I refuse to program anymore. But let's fast forward from 1983 to 1993.
The objective of Civilization is as follows: Develop a great empire from the ground up or in other words: "...to build a legacy that would stand the test of time". The game begins in 4000 BC, and the players attempt to expand and develop their empires through the ages until modern and near-future times.
In other words, you load the game, the screen is black except for one tiny square of green grass you are standing on. You moved your Commander with your arrow keys. You have limited intelligence, and to win you have to reach Alpha Centauri. Along the way, you have to forge alliances with at least four other computer generated civilizations, battle with them, and gain knowledge through well placed questions. I was addicted, to say the least. I spent months playing this game whenever I could.
Just when you thought you were gaining ground, and everyone was happy, some illness would strike, or a war would break out. I would find myself pondering how to raise taxes to fund the military without forcing my people into poverty, but protecting them at the same time. To be honest, I remember thinking back then, that this game should be mandatory for every person in the US to play, as everyone is an armchair quarterback when it comes to running this country. Another blog, another day, I'll describe how I'm a Liberpublicrat.
I never did get to finish the game, as the banks were merging and my was being moved to Philadelphia. The VP wanted me to go, but I had already turned my resignation in. He accepted it with a sneer and that I was a "Mall Chick, and wouldn't leave the suburbs." Whatever dude, I wasn't into Public Transportation and long commutes and yep, I loveeee shopping.
Now this brings me back to present day and the 5,920 square feet for sale. Remarkable enough it has its own national anthem and coinage. It also had a hell of a defense system with radar and armaments. According to the real estate agent (I would love to see the sign) it has eight rooms in each of the two towers, offices, a power generator and a chapel, all with a marvelous sea view. The lure of it all is Autonomy. I'm sure I can get whatever else I need dirt cheap on EBay, they have everything.
But for me, it would playing the ultimate game of Civilization. I would like to make up my own language just for shits and giggles, something between the African clicking language and the whistling Himalayans'. The idea for the country now is Offshore Banking and a Casino (is there a difference?) but I would go along with that, I do need a local economy to fit into this world.
On a side note I've always wanted to eliminate money, and in lieu of that, no one gets paid to play sports, or be a politician. So, if I bought this little country, I could enforce that. But I would love to have a venture, where if you were so inclined, that for a year, you would come and live there, and simulate the game and get a real taste of what Life is all about.
It's so easy to criticize our government, policies, education, when we are far removed from the pressures of dealing with Third World Countries. By the way, quick quiz..who were the Second World Countries? Ok, hold your Google search, it was the term used for Communist countries but abandoned with the collapse of the Soviet's regime. In 1952 the term Third World countries came about for anyone not fitting in First World or Second World, though we don't use the term First World today.
But if I owned Sealand I'd be a Fourth World Country. I think I would have to change the name too, because it sounds like you would only go there to whale watch or save a baby seal. To be honest, I'm not real sure what I would name it, because you have to have a really good name to project the right image. I mean, look at us. United States of America. You know, just hearing our name evokes images of what we have endured to earn that moniker.
The only other country that is just as descriptive to me is The Peoples Republic of China. Sounds good on paper, except for the oppression. Then again, everything sounds good in theory, its applying the practical where you get screwed.
Hmmm, so saying that, maybe I'll save $974,999,947.06 and just buy the game again. Knowing me, I'd probably be bored once I was done decorating the place. So I'll just say with high hopes, "Tick click clack tic clack toc toc tic."
1 Comments | Link to This | Back to top
World Wide Religion Smack Down
2007-01-28
It is widely known that religion will kill you. And in the course of human events..it has. More people have died, since the advent of consciousness, in the name of {Insert your Deity here} than anything else.
We're all tired of the war in Iraq. It's not about Oil, or WMD, or taking Saddam out. It's about Israel and who supports her. I say her as Judaism is past down through the mothers side, and well, being that Moses got lost for 40 years in the desert...anyway...we'll stick with my theory, my blog.
Is there a good answer at this point in time? No. No matter what Dubya comes up with, no matter what your party affiliation, it's a no win situation. We're screwed, blued and tattooed.
Or what any Trekker knows as the Kobayashi Maru. (Yep, I grew up on Star Trek) For those of you not familiar with the term, I will convey the meaning for you from Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan quotes. Thank you IMDB.com and for some trivia Lt. Saavik was played by the young Kirstie Alley way (weigh?)before she needed Jenny Craig.
|
|
So basically my point is, we need some Original Thinking to get out of this mess. Now I'm not talking about changing politics -that's another game show for another day and for all intense purposes, this is the best country to live in.
All my WWRSD has to do with is, creating a universal belief system. Think about it in these terms. We're all climbing the same mountain, but taking different paths. It was supposed to be a solo journey. Somewhere along the way we all started arguing whose path was best, or right, or if you were an extremist Muslim, take the shortcut after booby trapping the other paths and go collect your virgins. The point that was lost was it was all an uphill climb to begin , we stumble and fall along the way, to reach the zenith. So let's take a shot at globally agreeing that we all need to get to the top of the mountain, and here's my way.
My vision for this would have to incorporate Physical Skill, Knowledge, Luck,Talent and of course a Lightening & Elimination Round. The Winner of said competition gets to decide which belief system we follow and is recognized as the Grand Poobah of all and picks the proverbial path to follow. Now, this isn't a game to be played overnight, that would be irresponsible and we need television coverage and someone to fill the Amish in. Damn, this is getting complicated. Anyway, it will eventually get down to a playoff like the NFL and this being the age that it is by the time I have this posted I'm sure there will be a fantasy draft for your favorite religions. Oooh, I got the Quakers!!
To make it interesting you have to turn over the questions to the people who have no beliefs, since they won't care who wins anyway. We'll call them our Impartial Jury. This will be made up of the Agnostics and Atheists. The Judges will be the Unitarians, since they really don't care what you believe as long as you believe in something.
Now as tension and tempers rise, we will need an outlet for our aggression. That's where we keep the extremists who will never accept world order or peace. We will refer to them as "Acceptable Losses." Now don't get all high and mighty here, that's a term used by our own Government so deal with it. However, they will have a choice before termination to accept the potential winner or die for their personal beliefs now. Whatever. It's really just for suspense - we all know they won't accept the answer; we'll just get creative in their demise during the commercial break.
Now I'm still fleshing this out, so bear with me. See the entire Catholic regime could be eliminated right off the bat with " I'll take Sex Secrets at the Vatican for 200" and for those who get through that unscathed we'll turn to the musical portion of our contest. First up we have the Mormon Tabernacle Choir against the Women of the Wailing Wall. Do you see where I am going with this? Note to self, put a call out to Simon Cowbells' agent.
Ok, it's a little insane right now and sounds more like a treatment for the Studio Execs over at Fox, but you have to admit, it does have some merit and would bring our men and women home from overseas. No muss no fuss, just at the end we all agree on one thing.
Sure it's been done before, thanks to Henry VIII and his need for the church to recognize his divorce. Since they wouldn't play it his way, he just made his own religion, hence the COE. But he failed to take it global, so now they are just another contender.
Now I'm not real sure if the actual figure heads are going to have to get down and dirty. Somehow watching the Pope go one on one with the Archbishop of Canterbury could bring some comic relief if we had them in a dance off, or maybe a quick round of Texas Hold ‘em, where the purses run high from all those stashed offertory plates and tithing.
I'm open to some positive ideas and challenges to work this all out. It's all about Peace and Purpose folks. Peace in our lives and Purpose in our soul. The true meaning of life. But let's give our generations to come an ideal life, where we don't keep sending our loved ones to die for a three thousand year old battle. In the mean time, I'll get this thought out there, and see what the bookies in Vegas say. ;-)
1 Comments | Link to This | Back to top
I'm Over Here Now
2007-01-24
Sorry for all the hopping around. I hope this site works out better then Blogspot.
Time will tell.
4 Comments | Link to This | Back to top
Created with ShoutPost
