[I Was Naked]
When I Wrote ThisFour Eyes
2007-08-31
So far I'm not impressed with my 44th year, and I'm only 1 month and three days into it and counting.I will give myself somewhat of a break, taking into consideration that when one has been on their own for as long as I have, survival is the name of the game, not 3 three squares a day and plenty of sleep. Sleep is so over rated.
But when in the course of human events, and middle age comes knocking, you can't ignore the sound. Oh sure, you can pretend you aren't home, but that only works for about all of five minutes. Then you find yourself squinting through the peephole and realizing its a big blurry blob, or you've just been served a reality check, courtesy of Myopia.
For the last couple of months, I've ignored the blurred vision and even let my allergist convince me that by running out of my medicine for the same time period could be contributing to my blurred vision. What I couldn't ignore was the increasing frequency of ocular migraines that I've had for the last ten years. Frustrated by another episode I reluctantly called the eye doctor my GP had recommended.
I was thankful that the receptionist was able to get me in quickly and as she ran through her host of questions, and what was my reason for the office visit, I ticked off my symptom, ending with the ocular migraines.
"I had those" she said, "but I had a hysterectomy and they went away."
Hmmm, I thought to myself, that's a little too drastic of a remedy for my situation, I was thinking more along the line of eyedrops?
At any rate, I made my appointment and the week flew by.
When I got to the medical campus I could tell I wasn't going to like it. First off, I used to work for a couple of doctors and god love them, he refused to be dictated to by the insurance companies. So no HMO double and triple bookings. This place had a long counter with four receptions stations each with a doctors name. I was half tempted to jump in Dr. Yan's line and have some acupuncture performed.
I didn't have too long to wait, which was good as the parade of moms, strollers, and sick kids started parading in. Ah the start of the new school year and communicable diseases had arrived.
I was ushered back to the first exam room and since it had been five years since my last exam, it didn't dawn on me immediately that the flat panel tv across the way was the eye chart. I would have snickered because honestly they tried to convince me that the program was random, yet when I was sent to the other room after having my eyes dilated, their "random" program ran the same chart, as for one I have a photographic memory and I told the doctor I had memorized the chart. Not that it mattered, as he was doing the refraction part of the exam and I was still in denial.
He handed me a prescription and told me I was nearsighted in my left eye. Oh yeah, well you have frontal lobes and will be bald in five years, but I held my tongue. I honestly thought that he'd come to the same conclusion I had, but instead he told me if the migraines continued I had to go back to the neurologist. Hmm. Newp, been there, done that, pass the sweet and sour shrimp.
I gamely went back to work, the drive was interesting and the fact that I still had an hour or two of computer work to accomplish made for an interesting rest of the afternoon. I found that if I held an invoice in my left hand against the hutch and looked at it peripherally I could make out the numbers. I think. Note to self, double check those invoices Tuesday morning.
I found myself at the end of the day, sun shining brightly in my face heading to the mall to go to Lenscrafters, until I realized I truly couldn't see to drive, so no sense in attempting to pick out eyewear. Then once I was home the jew in me kicked in, and I found a website online that had glasses for $39.00. I truly was going to go that route but since my script only gave the sphere numbers, I didn't have my papillary distance. However, they did have a pdf file with directions and a mm ruler and I asked another person in the office to help me out and measure. She actually didn't do too badly as she went with 65 and the actual measurement turned out to be 66.5. Yes, I do have wide set eyes.
Now if anyone knows me, or reads these blogs, you know what a shopper I am. So yesterday I found myself once again, making the trek to the mall, with the intent of getting the readings, trying on some glasses and ordering them online.
I parked my car in my usual spot, walked into the mall and I was completely fine til I stepped into the place. Then the reality of it hit me and I fell apart. The cute little girl Amanda asked if she could help me, and I could only reply, nope I hate glasses. I don't want them, and I almost turned around and walked out. She was very nice and asked to see my script and appealed to my shopping sense.
I'm not the kind of girl who likes to wear designer anything. If I'm going to wear anyone's name its only going to be mine. Make no mistake though, I know my designers. What I didn't see was their own generic brand, as the one insurance I don't have is for vision. By the way, Mitsubishi Motors? My car payment this month is perched on my nose, I'll gladly send them to you in exchange for crediting August's payment.
Nothing looked good on me. It was either to Harry Potter, too Geordi Laforge, and one pair was total Mr. Magoo. The problem with these stores is they are trendy and not classic. Well, to be honest I did my damnedest to bring 1985 back with a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses that I believe I still have an original set of in a box somewhere in the annex of my house. But I tried them all. Dolce and Gabbana, Prada, Bulgari, DKNY. Nothing worked for me. Amanda brought in reinforcements. OK, now I see what's going on.
She placed a red pair of I believe Ralph Lauren glasses on me, trying to appeal to my vanity and how it brightened my face. Uh huh, that line may have worked on Sally Jesse but not this cracker. A very stern blond who had all the warmth of a Russian gymnast approached and gave me her opinion. I gave her a new name when I thanked her. "Olga" was too young to get the reference so I started calling her Inga. However, she might be young but when I pulled a compact out of my purse, she gave her approval of "ah Lancomme, nice" and her attitude changed. The two young ones tag teamed until I finally found a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo's I could live with then the strong arm upsell started.
I had my current sunglasses with me, that I've had for the last six years. Nothing special, Brighton's, but they were given to me and I like them. Every once in a while I get called "Hollywood" in them, but they have a certain flair reminiscent of days of yore. They tried telling me I would no longer be able to wear them, and I should buy another pair of prescription sunglasses as if I bought both now I'd say 40%. Guess what I'll save even more money by not buying them at all. Hah!
They ran down the list of items that I could include with my lenses and they asked if i wanted them Scotch Guarded. Are you kidding me? I asked them, so if I spill red wine on my glasses they won't stain? Because normally I would just pour white wine on them to do the same trick. Whatever, they weren't getting another three hundred out of me, so I gave them that.
I shelled out the four hundred dollars for the one pair, grateful that the lens were on sale 50% off. None of them went for giving me their employee discount on top of that, even though I had all three of them laughing hysterically during the entire two hours I was there. I shlepped out to my car to wait the hour, as one of my self imposed twelve steps of my shopping problem is Avoidance.
I went back around 8:15 to face the fourth malldrone, who fits the glasses and as I waited I played with all his implements on the counter. I waited another fifteen minutes while he finished up with the gentleman next to me. Now, they have you sign the Hippa paperwork when you first walk in, though I told them I had memorized the whole list with one glance. Its kind of ridiculous as you sit three feet away from everyone, so the paperwork pretty much goes out the window.
Mark really wanted to adjust my glasses but I bent my head forward and they didn't move. He asked me again if I needed them tightened, which I explained that normally I have my blue tooth in so I need the extra room. He was so insistent that I practically spun my head in circles ala Linda Blair before I got them to budge an inch off my face. Satisfied he took them back and proceeded to melt the sides in his little heater, which I didn't have the heart to tell him didn't make one difference. I put them back on, and wondered why my right eye was really having an issue. He gave his usual spiel, I explained my eye exam.
Now I don't know who is right or wrong, but he claimed he's never heard of anyone getting the eye refraction done when their eyes are dilated. I haven't taken the time to look it up online, but I'm going to guess that an actual eye doctor may know a shade bit more than the guy at the mall. Call me crazy, but if it was done wrong let me know.
I've spent the day wearing them, trying to adjust and I'm just not a glass kind of girl. I either want contacts or Lasik surgery at some point. They're ok, but when you're eyes are your best feature, they just destroy it. Screw seeing clearly, that's over rated. Sometimes you need to see the world a bit blurry to get through the day.
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Absolute Power....
2007-08-28
Corrupts Absolutely.
I don't know what is going on in the city of Coatesville, but its becoming apparent it has to be one of the most corrupt communities in Pennsylvania. I'd claim the US but I can't beat 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue et al.
I live less than half an hour from Coatesville and have followed the drama of the City Administration that spent millions of dollars trying to claim eminent domain on a horse farm outside of the city limits. The court battle raged for six years with finally the home owner winning and allowed to keep his horse farm. The City Manager claimed they needed his property as part of the revitalization process to bring new business and growth to the community. I could have understood if they were playing this legal card to build a new hospital, airport, something for the betterment of all its citizens. However, they wanted Dick Saha's land for a golf course. In a ten mile radius we already have 14 golf courses, private and public. The Senior Pro tournament comes to Chester County to play. We aren't lacking for green fees anywhere around here. After sinking the city into millions of legal debt, he quit only to become the City Manager for Norristown. They were smart enough to fire his ass pretty quickly before the same events transpired.
The school board also is corrupted and have been trying to come back from a 12 million dollar deficit from years of borrowing against a line of credit to fund the administration. School real estate taxes are so high in this area, a home with an assessed value of 300,000 nets you a tax bill of $9000.00 not including your local and township taxes.
The current top administrator for this city was recently stopped in another township for a DUI and proclaimed he wasn't from around here, citing an address in the south. However, he had to have pulled some strings as nothing became of it that was made public record.
The city itself is rife with drugs, violence and no place I need to be. However the surrounding townships to the city are quite nice, beautiful actually, but fall into their school district and jurisdiction.
Got the picture?
Now adding to the corrupt atmosphere is a story I first read about a few weeks ago with some interest. I know from my own past and my mother working for the Eastern Conference for the United Methodist Church, that there are higher powers to appeal to and an actual board that controls and places ministers in the entire conference.
So don't the Baptist have the same thing? The following is taken from today's paper and I'm really starting to believe that Coatesville is going to be the showdown between the forces of good and evil. You can't make this stuff up. It's just damn scary that people with God complexes love getting their teeth into an arena and not letting go. I'm following this story, because my guess is, someone's going to play the "Seperation of Church and State" game so the courts don't get involved and set controversial legal precendent.
| Church Members Taking Complaints About Pastor To Court | |
| By JENNIFER MILLER | |
| WEST CHESTER — Some church members are so displeased with their pastor’s performance that they have asked a judge to intervene. A hearing is set today before Chester County Judge Paula Francisco Ott, during which members of Tabernacle Baptist Church in Coatesville will ask Ott to order a church election followed by an evaluation of their pastor and, in the meantime, to prevent the pastor from spending any church money, according to court documents. In the court petition, church trustees Nathan Bookman, John Bell and Reade Hamilton, along with unnamed church members, allege the Rev. Malcolm L. Finkley has acted inappropriately in numerous ways since he was hired a year ago. The petition was filed after Finkley threatened to have certain members — who reportedly are trying to have Finkley removed — arrested if they returned to the church. Earlier, church members attempted to have harassment charges filed against Finkley for the letters, but the Coatesville Police Department did not believe the letters warranted such charges. Finkley became the church’s pastor last August “and was greeted with the unalloyed good will and affection of the entire congregation. It was not long before he had destroyed that good will and alienated the affection of a majority of the congregation,” the petition states. According to church by-laws, Finkley was working under a probationary period of a year. During that time, church members claim, he has made poor decisions, including spending $17,000 to audit and revise church by-laws. The church members say Finkley will not allow them to revise his new version of the by-laws in his alleged attempt to “make it very difficult to ever dismiss him.” Church members allege Finkley’s draft by-laws, which were not approved by the majority of the church, allow him to choose his own successor. “Petitioners believe and therefore aver that it appears this anything-but-humble man of the cloth is trying to start some sort of dynasty,” the petition states. The church members also accuse Finkley of changing the church’s door locks and refusing to give keys to trustees. The deed for the church property was issued to church trustees in 1917, the petition says. In addition, the members criticize Finkley for hiring his wife as the church’s administrative assistant at an “excessive salary.” Members also criticize Finkley for allegedly opening a new church bank account without the trustees’ approval and for preventing trustees from holding an annual business meeting. Members said they unsuccessfully tried to negotiate with Finkley prior to filing the petition. Bookman, who tried to negotiate with Finkley, “was finally rewarded for his efforts by Pastor Finkley purporting to have him stripped of his authority to count collection money and sign checks at a purported financial meeting on April 23, 2007,” the petition states. In the petition, members ask the court to order an election of trustees, deacons and officers, then order an evaluation of Finkley’s probationary period and, in the meantime, forbid Finkley from using church money. Before filing a court petition, church members attempted to have Finkley charged with harassment after the pastor sent letters to members July 2, asking them not to return to the church, otherwise they would be arrested. Finkley was never charged, and later he defended the letters. “As minister of the gospel, it is my responsibility to preserve the sacredness of worship, which includes ensuring safety of all who attend our worship services. While all are welcome to worship, especially our members, it was only after several threats, unruly conduct and being advised by law enforcement officials that we were forced to send letters intended to protect and preserve the sanctity of the church,” Finkley wrote in July. Also, after the arrest threats were made public, many church members have defended Finkley and praised his performance. Those members have said the members who are criticizing Finkley have not been happy with many pastors who have gone through their church doors. The hearing is slated for 1:30 p.m. today. For more on Coatesville, go to: http://coatesvillesidebar.blogspot.com. |
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Astro Alert!!
2007-08-22
What? I missed it? How can that be? Blast, stupid emails 4 years too late. Actually I remember this email from a couple of years ago, which is why I wanted to check it out.
According to Urban Legends:
Crap. Well at least I can look at a doctored up picture.
I love Astronomy and I love looking at the night sky, enough that if I feel motivated I will drag my sorry rear end out of bed to view a meteor shower.[cough.. liar]
Ok. I think about getting out of bed and waiting til 4:30 a.m. which is always the best time to view these things in my little part of the world. Otherwise I just wait for the random shooting star and consider myself lucky to have seen it.
One day I think it would be the ultimate to see the Aurora Borealis . However that would involve some effort on my part as I believe, and don't quote me on this, I have to actually be in the upper northern hemisphere. Though it would be nice if a traveling band of lights did a night tour. Hmmm, maybe I can recreate the effect with multiple flashlights and translucent multi-colored vellum paper. Wow, now whose thirty years too late for a science project?
Well if you do receive the email, and your heart leaps a beat in excitement for a moment, do yourself a favor and enjoy the full moon instead on the 28th. There won't be another one until gasp! September 26th 2007.
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Lions One Christians Zero
2007-08-13
It's almost amusing how one person's blog can get everyone's panties in an uproar. I'll state it again, because I really don't care what you believe to get through this world, but don't take offense when people don't agree with you and your beliefs. They're your beliefs and ideals, but don't assume that human decency can only be learned through biblical teachings. That's just crap.
I'm not getting into a debate here, because its pointless to discuss religion, politics or the best way to cure hiccups in a public forum. I've posted my thoughts on the topic before, and I've even debated for hours against the biggest bible thumpers on here. I'm not changing my mind nor am I trying to change yours. Use what works for you, just remember..everything in moderation. That's all.
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Teaching Old Lawyers New Tricks
2007-08-06
Today was B day, no not my birthday that was a week ago for all you people who might have missed it.
This B is for Bankruptcy and I had a 9:00 a.m. appointment. However, my morning didn't quite go as planned, so I was very late getting out the door. I had at least a half an hour drive and I was pushing my luck leaving with only twenty minutes to get there.
I thought I would do the decent thing and telephone to let her know I would be there, but I was running late, and since we are talking about downtown West Chester, what was my best bet for parking?
My previous appointments have been after hours so parking wasn't an issue. She reminded me that the street in front of her office is closed, and she also mentioned she was in a bad mood.
Uh oh.
The last thing anyone wants regardless of the circumstances is an angry lawyer who as she stated has been pissed off since Saturday.
Putting my most concerned Pamela Van Pelt The Doctor Is In (Five Cents) I asked her what was wrong.
She launched into her diatribe that her brother, in this writer's humble opinion, is a social retard. She asked me, if I had received an invitation to a surprise party at a restaurant what would be my expectations?
I told her that I would assume the host was picking up the tab.
"Exactly Right!" she proclaimed and feeling justified, told me how her younger brother decided to have a surprise birthday party for his fiance and decided to send out e-vites ten days before said event.
She informed him that it wasn't enough time for people to plan, buy gifts etc, so he should move the event and send out the invitations properly. Here's where the plan fell apart. He moved the day, but only called the guests.
The day of the event arrived, this past Saturday is my estimation since she's been huffing about it since this weekend, she was also left to play "hostess" as her brother had to get the birthday girl to said destination. The attendees deluged her with questions such as, "Who's paying?" and she had no answers just apologies and sore shoulders.
Finally they arrived and everything was served, from soup to nuts and finally-the bill. Her brother jumped up from the table and proceeded to run around and waved the bill asking everyone to pony up their share.Embarrassment ensued to say the least for my lawyer, as she knew some people had confided in her they didn't bring any money with them. Whatever happened in the final few moments, lead me to believe that she got stuck with a large portion of the bill. If anything just to spare the guests any more grief.
Her main complaint about her brother was that nothing she could say to him would make him understand that what he did was wrong. He just wouldn't get it. Whatever happened correctly, he took credit for, any complaints he tossed her under the bus. She-was-pissed.
I was winging down the highway, but anyone that knows me, understands that sometimes I have to use my powers for evil not good. Hall of the Justice League be damned. But I needed to snap her back into a good mood so I offered the following solution.
I told her that what she needs to do is wait a short while then invite her brother and fiance over for dinner. Serve everything wonderfully, the best of everything, keep the conversation light and flowing. Bring out the courses one by one, keep the wine pouring .In the midst of all of this, present him with an itemized bill for everything they ate and every glass of wine they drank.
Now,would you like to see the dessert tray? No? Coffee anyone? Again no?
She laughed uproariously, told me to get there whenever I could and I could hear her fingers already typing furiously, sending an email to her husband, who also happens to be the chef. I believe Chateaubriand is in order.
Problem solved.
Happy Lawyer.
Good to be me.
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