[I Was Naked]
When I Wrote ThisEncyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Uranium Enrichment
2007-02-25
“Hurry up Sally, we have to get to the airport”, cried Encyclopedia to his long time partner and crime solver Sally Kimball.“I’m almost ready, I just have to make sure all of my toiletries are in my check in luggage. Do you have your passport?”
“Of course I do, how do you think we got clearance to go to Iran to inspect their nuclear program with out special sanctions from the U.N.?”
The beleaguered world leaders tired of all the warring factions and the global economy heading south, decided to scrimp together a fee to have inspectors go to Iran. Since most of the countries were an economic wreck, they checked international 411 and found Encyclopedia Brown. His rate of .25 cents a day guaranteed they could use his services for at least a week, if they waived any other per diem, and the Whitehouse donated Air force One.
“I’m so exited to finally get out of Idaville, at least for a week. You did bring sunscreen right.”
“ Yeah, though I don’t think we will need it, I hope we aren’t out in the Khuzestan Plain too long. You better have a sweater too.”
A black shiny limo pulled up in front of the Brown household. A uniformed driver opened the door for them, and whisked them away to the airport. The flight to Tehran took about 24 hours and Sally and Encyclopedia spent their time reviewing the case.
“So what exactly are we looking for Encyclopedia, and how will we know when we find it? We don’t have any nuclear reactors in Idaville.”
“I’ve spent sometime researching uranium Sally, and even though its been sixteen years since the end of the Gulf War, uranium has a half life of 4.5 billion years. If the Iranians are going to make energy, they need uranium. It all depends on how they enrich it.”
“But didn’t they say they couldn’t stop enriching it anyway?”
“They sure did Sally, but that’s not the whole story. The US helped the Iranians launch their nuclear program back in the 1950’s. Then after the Islamic revolution in 1979, they stopped it. Then the started it up again without help from the west.”
“So I still don’t understand what the big deal is?”
“Well, they have uranium mine, a nuclear reactor and a uranium enrichment plant. It’s our job to see how much it’s been enriched.”
“I’m tired Encyclopedia, sounds like we have a long day ahead of us. They can only afford a week, and we are losing two days travel time. I’m going to sleep.”
“Goodnight Sally, we do have a long day ahead of us.”
“By the way Encyclopedia, who was it again that recommended us?”
“Condoleezza, the Secretary of State. I think she is trying to make up for not marrying my Uncle Ben.”
“Oh yeah, Condoleezza Brown-Rice is kinda catchy but not if you are always in hot water. Well, goodnight again.”
The next day as Airforce One got security clearance, Encyclopedia and Sally were escorted by heavily armed soldiers. They arrived at the uranium mine first, and even though they were impressed, Encyclopedia wanted to hurry the tour along. Next they toured the Nuclear Reactor and took in the technology that was presented to them.
“Well, do you see anything yet Encyclopedia? These armed guards are making me nervous. I’m going to go look for a water fountain.”
As Sally walked down the hall she glanced at the unfamiliar writing written on the doors. At the end of the hallway, she spotted a door that looked different then all the rest. Ducking inside she was surprised to see a familiar face, surrounded by a turban.
“Buggs Meany! What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same of you Sally Kimball. Are you here alone?”
“No, Encyclopedia and I are both here, helping the U.N. determine what Iran’s real plans are for their nuclear enrichment program.”
“Oh, well I can assure you that my dad moved us over here, so he could run the power plant, I’m just visiting the office, and sometimes he lets me handle the switches.”
“Great, well I have to be going now, I just wanted a drink of water.”
Sally hurried back to tell Encyclopedia everything she learned.
“Well, based on what you told me Sally, I guess the U.N. is correct right now for imposing sanctions.”
What did Encyclopedia Brown learn?
Turn to page 56 for the answer
Buggs Meany claimed his father worked at the power plant, but Encyclopedia knew that was impossible. Idaville didn't have any nuclear power plants, so Bugg's father didn't have any experience. As of 2006 nuclear energy didn’t contribute to the Iranian power grid, 98% of their energy still came from oil. The uranium mine wasn't producing that much to offset the abundent fossil fuels found in Iran, and the next best resourse, solar power would make more sense. Apparently, the Meany’s left the US to sellout their country in hope of a quick buck. Sally decked Buggs Meany right in the kisser, and had the U.N. extradite the Meany’s home for treason.
Bishop\'s Fantasy? (2007-02-25)
Very entertaining! I think my 12-yr-old son would appreciate this one and maybe learn a thing or two, as well :)
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