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Friday Night Open Mike

2007-02-23

My Daddy the Dancer

One day a forth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the
typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawer, and
so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he
replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.


Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then
took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

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This is really short & sweet. Give it a try.

This test is based on how cool you were in High School-- what crowd you ran with, etc., but it's
still pretty accurate.

You may want to send it to all your friends to see if they've changed.

SEE IF YOU ARE STILL A COOL PERSON:

http://www.elks590.org/main/cooltest.htm

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A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes, wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams.

He goes over to a table where a body is lying face down. He uncovers the body and, to his surprise, he finds a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring that this is fairly unusual, he pulls the cork out and, to his absolute surprise, music begins
playing: "On the road again...just can't wait to get on the road again..." The student is amazed, and pops the cork back into the anus.

The music stops. Totally freaked out, the student calls the Medical Examiner over to the corpse.

"Look at this, this is really something," the student tells the examiner as he pulls the cork back out again. They hear: "On the road again...just can't wait to get on the road again..." "So what?" the Medical Examiner replies, obviously unimpressed with the student's discovery. "But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" asked the student.

"Are you kidding?" replied the examiner, "Any asshole can sing country music."
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A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Lets talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about Nuclear Power?" "OK," she said. "That would be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"


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drift (2007-02-23)
Tests... no!!!!! Ah, darn it was right... ...drift

Barnabus (2007-02-23)
Hilarius!!!! going to send it tmo night in an e-mail around the world!

Hardcore_Pyro (2007-02-23)
It is stunning how accurate that test is. Dead on!

Spirited Minikin (2007-02-23)
hahahahaha....very funny on the test but it is indeed accurate...in my case at least. :)

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