[I Was Naked]
When I Wrote ThisWhat I Meant To Say...
2007-10-29
Life is funny. When I said in my last post, "But I wasn't done yet" I meant it. So how come life tried to make a liar out of me this morning?
One thing I can truthfully say is this morning I dodged a bullet. Yet the irony isn't lost, as what could have been my final post, after a small chain of events this morning that almost took my life.
I've stated before that I know I'm not going to die in some dignified manner. Newp, just isn't going to happen. I've had enough near misses with stupid household mishaps, as the day I was vacuuming the kitty litter in the bathroom, turning to grab the falling, running vacuum, and the nozzle slipping into the open toilet, inches away from sucking up the bowl water, mixing a lovely conduit of electricity straight into me as I held onto the metal nozzle. Only by my Jet Li quick reflexes, only seen in the movies, was I able to yank the hose out in time before my electrified and fried body wouldn't have been found until the neighbors complained. Like I said, I'm not destined for a dignified end.
My old roommate is living with me again, both for financial reasons, and we're helping each other out. I have no secrets from him, and in an effort to get him back on his feet, I've helped him set up his books, online banking, web pages, you name it, I've created it for him. Administration and organization isn't his strong point. We joked last night that I knew more about him then his ex wives, and he expressed some concern in those areas. I laughed at him as I pointed out the position that I hold with my company that I am completely responsible for my bosses life. I know his social security number, access to his credit card numbers, I cut the company checks. Beside being the IT Director and Accounting Manager, in my spare time I take care of his family, his properties, his vehicles, boats, you name it. At times his wife calls me to find out how to broach my boss about money she needs to spend. He's a multimillionaire to say the least. Bottom line, I'm responsible for his credit score and portfolio. I live by a strong set of business ethics. Truly if I were going to go off the deep end, it wouldn't be after my said roommates unemployment check. But I offered to sign whatever legal documents necessary to give him peace. Never mind I've known him 20 years, business is business.
With a certainty after I explained that succinctly, he smiled and kind of had a chagrined look on his face, and I swiveled back in the chair continuing the work I was doing before he had his misgivings.
I asked what his week was going to be, knowing that he wouldn't be returning tonight, as he was going to work with his brother this week out of town. He told me he was setting his alarm early, as he could get a lot done before he left at 7:00 a.m. I sort of rolled my eyes, as over the past couple of weeks, I go down the hall to knock on his door as it may as well be the night before Christmas, as a creature never is stirring, not at 7 in this house.
Those of you who read this blog or have come to know me, already realize that I do most of my writing in the wee hours of the morning usually between 3-5 a.m. Then I watch TNT reruns of Angel and Charmed, and at times I do fall back asleep for a small catnap.
After he told me his plans, I smirked and said "Ok, I'll check on you in the morning" and promptly snuggled into my bed, cursing once again that I have failed to remove the AC unit from my windowsill, and cold air was blowing in from the three inch gap around both sides of the unit. Not that big of a deal, but I hadn't turned the heat on yet, and it was down right chilly last night.
I never heard him get up today, I wrote my "What's going to be on your epitaph" blog and fell asleep. I barely heard him tell me goodbye and I struggled with waking up, and had easily slipped into a deep sleep, unusual for me and moments later my cellphone was playing the default song that I have for unknown callers, "How To Save A Life."
I groped blindly for the phone, and it was the office manager asking me for the bosses home phone number. Groggily I tried to come up with the number, and as she repeated what I said, I struggled again to focus and came up finally with the correct number. She had to give him a wake up call, and was late in performing that task.
I lay there for a second, trying to figure out what was wrong. A strange smell was pervading not only my room, but the hallway, bathroom and I realized it was exhaust fumes. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, but I remembered we had a little issue last night with the Franklin stove, because it wasn't drafting correctly.
I called TJ since he had just left, and asked him what the hell happened this morning, and by the way was he trying to kill me?
He seemed concerned and I told him the whole house was full of fumes, and he was more than apologetic. He explained he left the office door open downstairs, and the first frost had hit. He has a 1995 Mini-van that has seen better days. He backs into my very short driveway, and he left the motor idling while he was waiting for the car to defrost. Once he realized the office smelled, he closed the door not knowing how fast those exhaust fumes travel.
"Uh-huh", I told him. "I think this was just your way of doing me in...I know too much." Ok, I joke when I have near death experiences.
Looking back on all the little things that transpired, and the phone call playing How To Save A Life, from the Office Manger, I realized she really did, well that and the fact that I'm too lazy to take that damn AC unit out, but damn me anyway for writing a blog and tying up that loose end so nicely.
So next time if Karma wants to kick my ass, I'm going to try some positive energy and maybe write a blog about winning the lottery, or figuring out the ultimate way to create world peace. Oh wait, I did that in an earlier blog, that one didn't seem to catch on yet. The point is, I'm not going to poke the proverbial bear and tie up my life so nice and easy in writing. So what I meant to say was..uh yeah, ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies, and I'll get back to you on that.
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