[I Was Naked]
When I Wrote ThisTeaching Old Lawyers New Tricks
2007-08-06
Today was B day, no not my birthday that was a week ago for all you people who might have missed it.
This B is for Bankruptcy and I had a 9:00 a.m. appointment. However, my morning didn't quite go as planned, so I was very late getting out the door. I had at least a half an hour drive and I was pushing my luck leaving with only twenty minutes to get there.
I thought I would do the decent thing and telephone to let her know I would be there, but I was running late, and since we are talking about downtown West Chester, what was my best bet for parking?
My previous appointments have been after hours so parking wasn't an issue. She reminded me that the street in front of her office is closed, and she also mentioned she was in a bad mood.
Uh oh.
The last thing anyone wants regardless of the circumstances is an angry lawyer who as she stated has been pissed off since Saturday.
Putting my most concerned Pamela Van Pelt The Doctor Is In (Five Cents) I asked her what was wrong.
She launched into her diatribe that her brother, in this writer's humble opinion, is a social retard. She asked me, if I had received an invitation to a surprise party at a restaurant what would be my expectations?
I told her that I would assume the host was picking up the tab.
"Exactly Right!" she proclaimed and feeling justified, told me how her younger brother decided to have a surprise birthday party for his fiance and decided to send out e-vites ten days before said event.
She informed him that it wasn't enough time for people to plan, buy gifts etc, so he should move the event and send out the invitations properly. Here's where the plan fell apart. He moved the day, but only called the guests.
The day of the event arrived, this past Saturday is my estimation since she's been huffing about it since this weekend, she was also left to play "hostess" as her brother had to get the birthday girl to said destination. The attendees deluged her with questions such as, "Who's paying?" and she had no answers just apologies and sore shoulders.
Finally they arrived and everything was served, from soup to nuts and finally-the bill. Her brother jumped up from the table and proceeded to run around and waved the bill asking everyone to pony up their share.Embarrassment ensued to say the least for my lawyer, as she knew some people had confided in her they didn't bring any money with them. Whatever happened in the final few moments, lead me to believe that she got stuck with a large portion of the bill. If anything just to spare the guests any more grief.
Her main complaint about her brother was that nothing she could say to him would make him understand that what he did was wrong. He just wouldn't get it. Whatever happened correctly, he took credit for, any complaints he tossed her under the bus. She-was-pissed.
I was winging down the highway, but anyone that knows me, understands that sometimes I have to use my powers for evil not good. Hall of the Justice League be damned. But I needed to snap her back into a good mood so I offered the following solution.
I told her that what she needs to do is wait a short while then invite her brother and fiance over for dinner. Serve everything wonderfully, the best of everything, keep the conversation light and flowing. Bring out the courses one by one, keep the wine pouring .In the midst of all of this, present him with an itemized bill for everything they ate and every glass of wine they drank.
Now,would you like to see the dessert tray? No? Coffee anyone? Again no?
She laughed uproariously, told me to get there whenever I could and I could hear her fingers already typing furiously, sending an email to her husband, who also happens to be the chef. I believe Chateaubriand is in order.
Problem solved.
Happy Lawyer.
Good to be me.
[ Back to top ]
Created with ShoutPost
